The Reverse of the Medal

In the beginning when I first started to compete, I used to get terribly nervous. Before a competition I could barely eat my breakfast. Frequent trips to the toilet and an inability to keep any food down was a common occurrence on competition day! -I was a wreck! At the time I asked myself why I would put myself through this when all I had to do was stay at home and hide! Despite the all the classic symptoms of being complete 'blob of jelly' I gradually started to make it through the first few rounds of competition.

Random Attack Category, BJJAGB National Championships 2008

Ju Jitsu has been responsible for building my confidence when it comes to 'exam pressure'. Even when we were not competing, my Sensei (instructor) would be constantly testing us. As I progressed through gradings I was experiencing the same physical anxiety as competition. I think this regular exposure to 'competitive pressure' was a very good thing. As I experienced it more, I learnt to handle all the 'symptoms' that had plagued me in my early competition career. 

You hear of some bizarre sporting rituals that help sports stars to get mentally ready for competition. Wearing of specific colour or a numbered shirt have helped some very high profile sports people. Listening to a certain song or piece of music helps to mentally prepare. For me I think it is about physically getting into that neutral state where you are ready to explode, but at the same time just keeping the engine gently ticking over!

Gold Medal, 2012 Danish Open 

I have found in competition that all I need is the briefest moment of solitude, just to take everything in. A few deep breaths and a bit of visualisation. Every round I fight is for the Gold. Every one. Treating every moment as if it is my last in competition. At the same time, trying to take in as much as possible. I have found that in the weeks leading up to a competition I read a lot. Usually it's an autobiography of someone who has faced great adversity and triumphed against the odds. My bookshelf is full of inspirational people! Nelson Mandela, Nick Ward, Ranulph Fiennes, Jason Robinson...to name a few! I'm also quite partial to the works of Patrick O'Brien. It's in homage to Mr O'Brien that I named this blog after one of his best works (in my humble opinion).

I'm also quite partial to an inspirational quote or two as well. One of my favourites comes from General George S Patton - Commander of the US Seventh Army during World War Two:

UNJJ Championship 2008, Gibraltar 

"Today you must do more than is required of you. Never think that you have done enough or that your job is finished. There's always something that can be done - something that can ensure victory. You can't let others be responsible for getting you started. You must be a self-starter. You must posses that spark of individual initiative that sets the leader apart from the rest. Self motivation is the key to being one step ahead of everyone else and standing head and shoulders above the crowd. Once you get going, don't stop. Always be on the lookout for the chance to do something better. Never stop trying. Fill yourself wth the warrior spirit - and send that warrior into action."

Retaining that hard earned competitive edge has been been difficult over the past few years. I would always get my competitive 'buzz' from Ju Jitsu. I have competed since 1996, and have had the privilege of representing my club/association at national and international level. As I have progressed through the grade structure, my competitions have now reduced to the point of virtual 'retirement'! The reason for this is that my grade now dictates that I should officiate in some form, whether that is as a mat marshall, Judge, or Referee.

Refereeing the Junior mat, Wakarishin/Kokoro-Kai Int'l 2012

Being asked to 'step up' has been a huge privilege and I have felt very honoured. It is the natural part of progression. This art has given me so much and it is a huge honour to be in a position to give something back.

Stepping back from competition has also given me the opportunity to observe some of my students in the arena as well. As an instructor there is nothing that compares to seeing them conquered their own competitive demons and excel.
For myself, after years of competing, it is something that I have actually become quite addicted to! So when sailing became another passion of mine, it kind of helped to fill that natural gap that had opened up.

Competitive sailing brings a new set of challenges. I am now part of a group of people that have to work together as a team to be successful. The pressures of racing a boat represent a total change of focus the first concern is always for the safety of the boat (this is your ‘life-capsule’ after all in what can be a very hostile environment!).  Boat performance is everything. This is on par with the safety of your fellow crew. Way down the bottom of the list is yourself. 

'Welcome to Yorkshire' departs Madeira for Rio 

Race starts are without a doubt one of the most exciting times in sailing! The crew work hard to get the boat in the best start position, maneuvering amongst a fleet of competitors, which at times can contain anything up to forty boats (as was the case during Round the Island Race 2012). As race starts are always 'on the move' (and never from a 'standing start') the fleet are always maneuvering round to get the boat in the best windward position, on the start line to coincide with exact race start time.

As a crew we are all working to either 'haul our wind' and power up the boat, or 'luff up' and spill wind from the sails to slow our momentum. Our aim is to be in the top half of the fleet as it means 'cleaner' airs to sail in once we are over the start line. As individuals you are responsible for the jobs going on in your part of the boat. Everyone is responsible for keeping a good lookout. If you mess up, it can cost the boat valuable seconds/minutes or even run the risk of collision with a competitor.It's not only 'your' job you need to know. You need to be able to cover your fellow crew as at a moments notice your crew mate can be called off to do something else and you have to cover their position whilst they are away.

Visualisation is key factor in success. Always thinking two steps ahead, trying to anticipate what your skipper / tactician need to happen next. It can be chaotic at times, with some very colourful verbs being thrown around the boat! This dialogue is normally one way traffic, Cockpit to bow, or Cockpit to any other competitor boats in our vicinity - which is always entertaining!

 

I always make sure that I check and double check everything. Making sure lines are properly run and that there is no chance of suffering a 'cluster f###' on the foredeck at a vital moment (a Bowman's worst nightmare). 

Crew working hard during Round the Island 2012 (some not so serious!)



Competitive pressure in Ju Jitsu and Sailing manifests itself in slightly different ways. There are varying physical and mental demands are made on the participant. One thing remains constant for both is the ability to keep a focused mind on the task in-hand, despite numerous distractions. The classic poem by Kiplying sums it up; "If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you." Part of me thinks that Kiplying must have worked 'before the mast' at some point! 

Although my competitive bug has been kept at bay by sailing in recent years, in a few months time I will be returning to the arena of Ju Jitsu! I will be travelling as part of the Great Britain team to compete at the United Nations of Ju Jitsu (UNJJ) Competition and Congress in South Africa.

Despite the years of experience I have managed to accumulate, I’m sure that the  excitement and anticipation will bring all the classic symptoms of dry-mouth and butterflies! I can’t wait!  

'Life at the Pointy End'

After returning home from Rio, I was keen to build on the skills I had learned with Clipper. It wasn't until my first Boat Show after I had come home that I made some contacts that would allow me to get out on the water again.

I initially tried to put my name down with local sailing clubs here in Essex. Curiously there was no response. A friend I met through Clipper told me of a skipper who chartered a boat through Sunsail, and put together a 'scratch' crew for each of the racing weekends that Sunsail organised in the Solent. It sounded great, so I 'made my mark' and waited for joining instructions!

  

On a breezy Friday evening, I made my way down to Port Solent to Sunsail HQ to join the boat. I met Neil, the skipper (and organiser of the weekend). A very straight-talking gent, with a strong southern African accent (Rhodesian actually)! After a 'sensible' evening in the club house we all bunked down in our yacht.

Our yacht was a Beneteau First 40. I was amazed at the comfort below decks! I think having spent the past two years sailing on stripped down racing yachts, built by the lowest bidder, it felt like I was being spoilt with all the luxury! (auto-heads, heaters, 'recreational' radio/CD player and double bunks!! Despite the roaring winds outside, I enjoyed a very comfortable and peaceful sleep in my snug Guass sleeping bag! 

Keeping look out whilst we manoeuvre to the start line!

The next morning we were all up 6:30am sharp! Doing boat prep, and having a few 'dry runs' at some spinnaker pole work. I had foolishly admitted to being happy to work anywhere on the boat (when asked about preferred sailing position). This meant that I was volunteered instantly for the Bow! 

Bow work was not an alien concept as I had done a bit on the 68's with Clipper. The difference this time is that I would not have 3 other crew to bounce ideas/questions off of! I would be there on my own, except for the Mastman (Jamie), who had similar experience level to me so had his hands full! The scale of everything was a bit smaller. This also meant that manoeuvres had to be completed 'double quick' as we were 'racing around the cans'. Gone are the days where I was on a boat that set a 'point of sail' for days on end. The action would be very sharp and very quick!

As learning curves go, it didn't get any uglier than this! There was a bit of a rolling swell that day on the Solent meaning I was doing everything I could to remain upright on the front of the boat during manoeuvres! As someone has once described it, it was like being on a seesaw, in a washing machine, on high spin!

I had been warned about Neil's 'temper', so when the air started to turn blue with instructions being shouted from the cockpit, I was not entirely surprised! Everything that could go wrong went wrong! Lines got crossed and knotted (seemingly all by themselves). On the launch/hoist of the Spinnaker, I nearly lost the spinnaker bag over the side! (Major sin!!)

As the day wore on, our (or rather my) performance gradually improved, we started to stop coming last! I was determined to learn and suck up this experience! There were times were I totally f##ked things up, and all I could do was hold my hands up and walk back to cockpit and apologise to everyone for my error. There were a great deal of sympathetic nods and winks and I knew I was looking at some former bowmen/bow-women who had had the same experience that I was having today and did not want to swap with me! 

It sounds like a terrible experience, but sometimes in life we tend to get the exam first, with the lesson given afterwards! This was very much the case for this particular day! On the Saturday night the whole crew went to Tiger Tiger at Gunwhalf Quay and needless to say we had a fantastic meal and evening out! Everyone bought me a beer and congratulated me on surviving what had been a very tough day! 

It has now been a year since that tough weekend! There have been others since then, but that was my first experience of 'life at the pointy end'. Everyone weekend I am sailing I always volunteer to go on the bow. Does this make me some kind of sadist? 

I think for me it is one of those places on the boat that quickly disintegrates into utter chaos! But there is something very satisfactory in salvaging some order from that chaos! I have found that good visualisation is key when prepping sails and lines. I have had some great help/tutoring from some very inspirational bowman(Al, Darren, Steve-J to name a few). 

I have found though that the bow is only as good as his or her mast/pit team! And that is the key...Good communication and good team work. A bit of swearing is never meant (or taken) personally. It just conveys the 'urgency' of how quick things need to happen!

For me, It is without a doubt the most fun sailing position on a racing boat! Here's to getting 'wet and wild' in the near future!!

Successful hoist! 4018 powers on up the Solent!

Clipper Round the World Yacht Race: The Aftermath

Crossing the Equator, with fellow 'legger' Andy Cheetham on the helm!

It has now been just over ten months since I returned from the race. Why haven't I updated my blog sooner? I'm unsure really. Maybe I needed to try and let the dust settle a little before I could really put it all into some form of context. 

As mentioned on my previous blog, I left the boat in Rio on the Friday, and was back at my desk on the Monday morning. To be ripped away from my crew and boat, and suddenly plonked back into reality quite frankly left me a bit numb! It was a numbness that l hadn't been prepared for.

I've tried to understand why I have felt this emptiness. I think when you take part in this challenge it has taken so much dedication and effort. It is your 'project', and takes up almost all of your time. As someone once said: 'you get out of it what you put in'. And for most of the crews who have taken part in any of the Clipper races over past 20 years, they have given and sacrificed almost everything to get themselves onto the start line!

Clipper very kindly prepare you for the rigours of ocean racing. for the 2011-2012 crew we had four levels of training, culminating in the race itself (whether that be 'round the world' or just a leg of the race). They have not included a level 5 in their training. Which in my mind would address the 'aftermath of the race'!

So here is my take on what 'level 5' training might look like....

Round the Island 2012 ('All the gear and 'some' idea)!!

1. GET SAILING AS SOON AS POSSIBLE: If 6 weeks / 11 months of living in a 'life capsule' hasn't totally put you off the idea of getting out on the water again, get out and do some nice day sailing. Remember to enjoy the 'apre-sail' at a club house / pub afterwards! Very civilised!
2. WORK FOR CLIPPER: They are always eager to have someone sell their product for them that has 'been there and done that'! It's a two way street! -You get to talk about your experiences all day in a way that would normally bore your friends, family and work colleagues to tears! The people you meet genuinely want to hear every detail!
3. ATTEND CLIPPER REUNIONS: Great way to catch up with all crews from training and the race itself! Also worth picking the brains of previous Clipper crews as many have great stories of success in 'surviving Clipper', so well worth buying a pint for and listening to their experiences! 
4. GET A NEW PROJECT: Book a holiday, take up a new hobby, anything that can stop you day-dreaming about getting back to the race! (unless of course you have the time/money to do so)!!
5. JOIN THE CLIPPER ALUMNI: Join the Clipper Race Yacht Club (which at date of posting I have not done)! http://www.clipperraceyc.com

Well that's it! The race is done. We all have now returned to our families and homes. Some have returned to their jobs, others are searching for a new career. I think it is safe to say that the sea has changed us all. Even the most resilient of souls could not deny the new friendships that have been forged in one of the toughest environments on the planet. We've shared some of the highest highs and the lowest lows. We've had to dig deep for ourselves and more importantly, each other. All this whilst being faced with some the most challenging (if not scariest) moments many of us have ever encountered.

31 July 2011 - Clipper fleet escorted by HMS Illustrious...and hundreds of spectator boats!

For me it has been the most amazing experience of my life (so far)! We experienced so many amazing moments during our journey. If I had to pick one, it would be being escorted along Southampton Water and out into the Solent by my Dads old commission, HMS Illustrious. 'Lusty' truly gave us a good send off that none of us will ever forget!

Joseph Conrad famously wrote "As if it were too great, too mighty for common virtues, the ocean has no compassion, no faith, no law, no memory."

Whilst the sea may have no 'memory' of our adventure, I for one will  never ever forget. 

 

Race to Rio, the final push

Whales and Dolphins became a regular sight as we approached race finish. It seemed strange to have travelled across the Atlantic and had only had flying fish for company! As the depths became shallow, it forces the nutrient rich water up to the surface, drawing all forms of microscopic life to the surface. This drew the migrating Humpbacks and Wright Whales to feed during their long migration North to South.

Our only fear was that we might have a collision with one of these magnificent creatures. Although we weigh roughly about the same as an adult Humpback, our flimsy hull would be no match against strength of whale blubber and muscle!

The conditions for sailing had been fantastic all the way across. Unfortunately, we now found ourselves in a wind hole! With each 'race sched' we saw our competitors draw closer!

On the morning of the final day, I was the last 'off watch'. My watch had finished some 20 minutes earlier, but I just sat on the lee ward side, searching the horizon for signs of the wind that would take us the last 120 miles into Rio. I descended the ladder down into the Saloon. Everyone was spent! I salvaged a bit of breakfast before turning in. We now had 6 hours to get some kip. We all silently slipped off to our bunks to get some rest and forget the light conditions that had blighted us for the past 4 hours!

I was awoken by a pleasant sensation.... the boat was slightly heeled over, and I could hear the water lapping past our hull! I came on deck and it was beautiful day! Slight breeze, plenty of sun. The shorts and T-shirt weather! Port watch handed over control, and I relieved Steve from the helm so he could go and enjoy 6 hours in his bunk. He warned me not to lose the breeze, and said it had been patchy, but the wind was holding.

We could see over to our starboard side the beautiful golden sands of Brazil. We were mindful not to get too close for fear of falling into another dreaded wind hole close inshore.

We soon became aware that the breeze had begun to freshen. To the level where it felt a bit chilly in the shade. An odd sensation that we had not experienced since leaving the Channel. I became aware that the horizon (on our port side) had begun to cloud over and darken. As the ominous cloud rolled towards us, the breeze began to build further.

It appeared the the mighty Atlantic wasn't about to say goodbye without one last test!

The wind swung through 45 degrees and we were soon having to beat into 20knots of apparent wind. This meant that we were heeled over at 45 degrees!

Crew were disappearing very quickly down the hatch and reappearing in full oillies. We all had a good idea of what this was developing into, and sure enough within 20 minutes the rain started! By this time I had been on the helm for over three hours! To be fair the crew had been kept busy with reefing the main, and changing down from our largest head sail (Yankee 1) down to the Yankee 2. This eased our heel slightly, but the sea state had picked up and we were starting to see some huge rollers trying to take Welcome to Yorkshire head on!

Rupert appeared on deck (also in full oillies). He gave the word to tack and head out to sea. We were in danger of coming very close to a large reef which would be under our lee (meaning we were running the risk of being blown onto it).

As I tacked the bow through the wind, the rest of the crew executed their jobs slickly. We went down to reef 3 in the main, and bagan to change down to our smallest Yankee head sail (Y3).

This manoeuvre took longer as those that were able went forward and began to take down the Yankee 2. This was all compounded by heavy seas, driving rain and some very gusty blows!

From my position on the helm, I did my best to avoid 'falling off' too many waves. Unfortunately I could not avoid them all, and on one occasion I screamed forward for everyone to hold on. The bow sharply rose skyward! The first two thirds of our 68ft went airborne, and all on deck prepared for the landing!

The wave disappeared as it carried on its original course. We had been travelling at over 11 knots, and with our momentum, we held level as Welcome to Yorkshire 'belly flop' into the trough of water in front of us.

The impact was huge, and she shuddered through her mast right down to her keel. As I looked up I was desperately counting all the crew who I could see on the bow! Yes! They are all still there! (all safely clipped on) It certainly was a day to be wearing your 'brave pants' on the bow!

Despite being soaked through (still wearing my shorts, t-shirt and sponsored fleece) I watched with huge pride as the rest of Starboard watch battled through some of the toughest conditions. They were absolute heroes! Including our Skipper, Rupert (who returned with his life jacket inflated - from receiving a good dowsing)!

Everyone returned to the safety of the cockpit / winch area, and I managed to swap with Leonie who took the wheel. I went below and changed out of my wet clothes and into something dry and then into full oillies.

Whilst I was below I noticed a few people sat around Chris (Port Watch-leader). He looked a bit dazed. When I asked what had happened I was told that he'd been in the mid bow - below decks, helping to wrestle the Yankee 3 up on deck. Andy and Keith had been helping him when a huge wave knocked us sideways, and they all went flying across to the other side of the boat. Chris ended up being at the bottom of a pile of people, and one very heavy sail. I felt incredibly guilty. Whilst there is nothing I could have done to avoid the waves that had smashed us, as helmsman at the time I felt it was my responsibility to keep us on a safe course. I apologised to Chris, and he told me not to worry about it. I still felt terrible.

I was soon back on deck, and took up position on the windward side with the rest of the watch. We watched as the shipping increased as we got closer to Rio. A huge tug (bound for one of the oil platforms) steamed by. The crew looked down on us as we battled into the wind. I could make out that one or two of them were enjoying a cup of hot drink. They must have been chatting to each other saying 'look at the crazy English people'!

Soon it was time to go below as Port watch came on. We descended into a world that was pitching around at 45 degrees, hot and humid, but the most welcoming aspect was the smell of hot curry being served up! We fought to escape our saturated oillies and were soon eating heartily! Thank you to the Mothers that day! You saved us with the best bowl of food ever!!

We'd worked out that we would be finishing in only a few hours, so we had requested to be woken up just before the finish, as none of us wanted to miss the big occasion. I was duly woken by Jim, who was going on about how 'Skipper urgently needed me on deck'. I was half asleep as I pulled on my soggy gear back on, and eventually climbed the companion way to the where Rupert stood. I could make out the huge looming shapes of the rocks of Rio, Sugar loaf mountain about a mile ahead of us.

'Everything alright Skip?' I asked. 'Ah Gary, would you do us the honour of taking us across the finish line?'
I was absolutely shocked! Jim had been watching and when I turned to him he gave me a big slap on the back, and smiled! What an honour!

The next half an hour was spent watching the navigation marks going into Rio. As we crept through the darkness, the lights of the city began to illuminate the surrounding hills and mountains. Giant sea birds followed us as if we were a trawler returning from a fishing trip. As we passed the outer markers a ghostly figure seemed to hover high up in the darkness. It was Christ the Redeemer! An amazing sight!

We crossed the line in second place, in the early hours of Thursday morning (01 September 2011). The deck was transformed into a huge party as we all embraced and cheered! Welcome to Yorkshire had crossed the Atlantic from Madeira to South America in just under 20 days!  It was an amazing feeling!

clipper experience 1a 0001

Dolphins CV3 0003

"There be whales!"

As race end approaches it is becoming more difficult to sleep in the 'off watch'. All minds are focused on the race and keeping the nautical miles smoothly slipping beneath our keel.

Kat (one of my crew mates on Starboard watch) has generously offered to swap 'mother duties' with me for today. The reason I had asked for this is I didn't want to spend the last day of the race in the 'galley'. It would have been a shame to come all this way, and had been washing up as we entered Rio! I'm sure I would have been on deck with everyone else, but I really wanted to be 'sailing' the boat that day and have the opportunity to take 'Welcome to Yorkshire' across the line. Kat being a generous soul offered me this as she will be going on to Leg 2 and 3, so will be seeing a further two race finishes.

During our daily crew meeting, an 'eagle-eyed' crew member spotted a 'fin' poking out of the water about a mile off our starboard beam. It was the unmistakeable fluke of a whale! Almost waving at the boat! The long white fin waved about as it slapped the water (clear behaviour of the Humpback whale). As time went on we spotted a further three Humpbacks in the 'pod'!

The final sighting of the group was that of a huge tail rising into the air, as the giant mammal slipped beneath the surface to begin a huge dive into the deep blue depths!
Regrettably I could not take any photos as my little Fuji-film could not focus on such a range, and the wobbly film I took does not do the event any justice!

We are now sailing dead downwind, under our huge lightweight Spinnaker sail! The hoist went well, and again Jim (our watch leader) ensured I was in the midst of all the action on the bow. Great fun, and very satisfying to see this 'tennis court' sized sail take off into the air over our bow!

Now the really tiring bit will start as we must concentrate on keeping it flying all the way to our next waypoint (a headland called Cabo Sao Tome), which is currently just over 200 nautical miles away. Sounds far, but that is not a long distance in a 68ft ocean racing yacht travelling at 10-12 knots!

The major perk of being on Mother Watch is that you come off the normal 'watch rota'. So once the crew are fed and watered, you have free time. As well as organising your kit and bunk for the next few days, it is also a great chance to catch up on sleep. So tonight I will have a good solid 8-9 hours of kip! Need to make sure the 'batteries' are fully recharged, ready for the last 48 hours of the race! COME ON ‘WELCOME TO YORKSHIRE’!!!!